Putt Pirates Disc Golf Club

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ’round and listen well as I spin ye the tale o’ today’s scrimmage round at Waller Mill. The weather be a balmy 78 degrees, with a gentle 6mph breeze and gusts up to 15mph.

Helms-woman Megan Gilmore made quite the splash in her very first round, nailin’ a 35-foot putt on hole three. Aye, the lass be showin’ her natural talent! Meanwhile, our own Ship Captain Patrick McCormick had a bit o’ misfortune, his rollaway disc landin’ him a dreaded six on hole six.

Quartermaster Jasper Gutierrez, master of the tee, delivered some beautiful shots today whilst coachin’ Megan. Captain McCormick shared a tidbit o’ wisdom: soak yer discs or spray ’em with Pam before the round to slip through the trees like a well-greased pirate. “Aye, lads, a well-lubed disc cuts through the trees like a cutlass through butter,” he proclaimed with a knowing grin.

Jasper, despite his bravery on the course, be terrified o’ frogs. But the lad pressed on, comin’ out strong with some screamin’ drives and long putts. Megan declared her intent to dethrone Sailing Master Tommy Brosam. “I’ve got me eyes on that number one spot, Tommy. If I can beat ye at Pickleball, I can beat ye here too!” she boasted.

Our Quartermaster had a rough go on hole seven, landin’ in jail but breakin’ free with a superb shot across the ravine. As for Patrick, he claimed he was finessin’ the holes but methinks he wasn’t puttin’ enough stank on the discs. “I swear, these discs be like treacherous wenches today, refusin’ to do as they’re told!” he bemoaned.

The trees today were as treacherous as any sea storm, sendin’ discs left and right. Jasper be the only one gettin’ some tree love today; without it, he’d be easily in the +30s. “It feels like Atlas himself be pressin’ down on me shoulders with this bag tag three,” Jasper sighed. “I be itchin’ to trade with Bonsky!”

Ever the experimenter, Jasper tried many a daring shot, findin’ himself takin’ local routes. As he said, ’twas not the gap he wanted, but the gap he deserved. “Sometimes, mates, ye don’t get the gap ye want, ye get the gap ye deserve,” he quipped.

McCormick, though, had a fine bogey save on hole 11 with a 30-foot straddle putt. “Just needed a bit o’ pirate finesse, that’s all,” he said with a wink.

Hole 13, however, proved unlucky for Megan, who lost a disc after a phenomenal throw. This sparked a new idea: this season, the prize for losin’ discs will go to the owner, not the thrower. This ought to keep swashbucklers like Ship Gunner Gundersen and Surgeon Matt Payne from tossin’ Tommy’s discs into the woods to claim prizes.

Captain McCormick reminisced about hole 17, once his favorite till someone went and changed it all around, movin’ trees and lettin’ the humidity wreak havoc on his discs, leavin’ him with a five to finish. “This used to be me favorite hole, till they went and moved the blasted trees!” he lamented.

And there ye have it, mates! Another grand adventure at Waller Mill. Till next time, may the wind be always at yer back and yer discs sail ever true. Arrr!

Ship Captain Patrick McCormick