Putt Pirates Disc Golf Club

SHORTS PADS / PINS WERE RANDOM

SINGLES

Stef Bonsky	Mike Mui	Patrick McCormick	Jasper Gutierrez
Shelly Jackson

PATRICK MCCORMICK	DISTANCE DRIVE – DISC WINNER (300FT)
JASPER GUTIERREZ	CTP #10 – PP MINI MARKER

ROUND WINNERS

JASPER GUTIERREZ (+8)

Crew Roster for the Day

Present that day were:

• Ship Captain Patrick McCormick: Steady as the North Star, guiding us through the course.
• Boatswain Stef Bonsky: Keeping the fairways shipshape and steering clear of any flying disc hazards.
• Cook Mike Mui: Our unpredictable culinary master, spicing up the game with his wild throws.
• Gunner Shelly Jackson: Mastering the cannons—er, discs—with precision and power, hitting targets like a true marksman.
• Quartermaster Jasper Gutierrez: Grumbling about bag tags and ready to seize the top spot with a piratical glint in his eye.

Absent from our ranks were:

• Sailing Master Tommy Brosam: Tending to his green pasture, mowing lawns instead of navigating fairways. “The grass on me lawn grows faster than me skill with a driver!”
• Derek Gundersen: Entrenched in mechanical mayhem, wrestling with car engines and greasy gears. “Fixing cars be a far cry from conquering holes, but it’s today’s quest!”
• Surgeon Matt Payne: On fatherly duty, ferrying his wee one to the doctor instead of fixing our game. “A healthy heir beats a low score any day!”
• Helms-woman Megan Gilmore: On the frontlines, fighting fires and saving lives, proving that not all heroes wield discs. “No fairway for me today, but at least the flames be in check!”
• Master-at-arms Ernest Huizar: Also on duty as a medic firefighter, making sure the flames stayed at bay. “No time for par, gotta keep the fire dragon at bay!”
• Seamen Trevor Elam: Still AWOL, likely charting his own course or perhaps lost in a foggy sea. “If ye spot him, remind him that the treasure map’s fading fast and we need him back on deck!”

Ahoy, mateys! Today, we set sail on the treacherous terrain of New Quarter Park. With the sun shining bright and a mischievous breeze playing tricks on our throws, the adventure was sure to be a memorable one. ‘Tis a course where even the best shots feel like curses when ye end up with double bogeys.

The Bag Tag Battle Begins

This be our maiden voyage for bag tags, and the Quartermaster, Jasper Gutierrez, has been grumbling louder than a stormy sea, demanding the number one tag without so much as a toss. Well, today would prove whether he be worthy. “If I don’t get that number one tag, I’ll eat me hat!” Jasper declared, to the crew’s great amusement.

“If I don’t get that number one tag, I’ll eat me hat!”

– Quartermaster Jasper Gutierrez

The course, it played tricks on us with a mix of long and short pin setups, making an already hard course even harder. Each hole was a gamble, with fate deciding if we faced a short or long challenge.

The Crew’s First Shots

On Hole 1, the crew let fly:

• Quartermaster Jasper Gutierrez: Launched a beauty of a drive, sailing smoothly down the fairway. “I’m gonna need a telescope to find me disc,” he boasted.
• Boatswain Stefanie Bonsky: Played it safe, keeping her disc in the fairway’s embrace. “Steady as she goes, just like me ship!” she grinned.
• The rest of us? Well, we found the hard road, sending our discs careening into the trees like drunken sailors into a tavern wall.

Trials and Tribulations

By Hole 4, Jasper’s luck turned sour as he overshot the basket, setting himself up for a tough comeback. “Overshot it by a mile,” he muttered, “Me disc must think it’s auditionin’ for a flyin’ circus.”

Meanwhile, on Hole 5, our Cook, Mike Mui, took a tumble, rolling down the hill like a barrel of rum and nearly taking Gunner Shelly Jackson with him. That pin placement be a cruel joke, making the hole even dumber than before. Shelly hollered, “Careful, Mui! We ain’t bowlins’, and I ain’t no pin!”

“Careful, Mui! We ain’t bowlins’, and I ain’t no pin!”

Gunner Shelly Jackson

Tempers Flare and Spirits Soar

The rough seas of Hole 6 had us all feeling low, but Mui, ever the unpredictable rogue, sank a hammered 20-foot downhill putt, lifting our spirits a mite. “Aye, I putt like a madman, but at least it went in the right direction,” Mui laughed.

Ship Captain Patrick McCormick finally found his way aboard the par ship on Hole 7, but his journey was short-lived. By Hole 9, he was back to battling the waves, and sparse pars were the order of the day. “I boarded the par ship but got tossed overboard by the waves,” Patrick sighed, “Feels like I’m sailin’ a dinghy in a storm.”

“I boarded the par ship but got tossed overboard by the waves. Feels like I’m sailin’ a dinghy in a storm.”

Ship Captain Patrick McCormick

Mui, having pushed his luck too far, was made to walk the plank after narrowly missing Bonsky on Hole 8. “If Mui aims at me head again, I’ll be needin’ a second eye patch!” she joked.

Shelly Jackson, however, pinballed his way down the fairway, bouncing off five trees but landing perfectly clear, much to the crew’s amazement. “I call it me pinball pirate technique,” Shelly grinned. “Perfect fer tree-filled fairways!”

CTP Challenge: Hole 10

Hole 10 was our CTP prize hole for the new Putt Pirate Minis (PP Minis, as we now call them). Normally an easy reach with a forehand shot, today the pin was buried deep in the forest, making it a challenge only the bravest pirates dared face. Mui declared, “This hole’s trickier than findin’ a sober sailor at happy hour!”

• Captain McCormick: Threw a tight forehand, landing just inside the tree line on the right. “Me disc’s flirtin’ with the trees but holdin’ her own,” he chuckled.
• Gunner Shelly Jackson: Sent a wobbly roller, but it ended up as a contender for the prize. “That roller’s got more twists than a kraken’s tentacle,” he laughed.
• Quartermaster Gutierrez: Played it safe with a long straight backhand, aiming for distance over finesse. “I’m lettin’ me disc do the talkin’ today,” he said with a wink.
• Boatswain Bonsky: Hugged the tree line a bit too close. “Guess me disc likes cuddlin’ with the flora,” she grumbled.
• Cook Mui: Shanked it into the woods, where it was swallowed whole. “Looks like me disc’s gone native,” he shrugged.

In the end, Jasper won the CTP, claiming the coveted PP Mini. “Guess I won’t be eatin’ me hat after all!” he crowed.

The Final Stretch

Bonsky rallied on Hole 11, landing a giant par, while Mui finally found his form, launching his best drive of the day and promptly declaring, “I know how to play.” To which the crew responded with a cheer, “Aye, and about time ye showed it!”

“I know how to play.”

Cook Mike Mui

Throughout the round, Bonsky had to dodge Mui’s wild throws more times than she cared to count. On Hole 17, Shelly Jackson nearly lost a leg to Mui’s rogue disc, proving that even the most seasoned pirates aren’t safe from his wrath. “If I had a doubloon fer every time Mui’s disc almost took me out, I’d be richer than Blackbeard!” Bonsky laughed.

“If I had a doubloon fer every time Mui’s disc almost took me out, I’d be richer than Blackbeard!”

Boatswain Stef Bonsky

The second prize hole of the day, for the longest drive on Hole 18, saw Captain McCormick taking the glory with a 300-foot backhand drive using an Innova Champion Tern. Mui, in a fitting end to his day, lost the first disc in a sanctioned round on Hole 18, setting himself up nicely for the most lost discs in a year prize. “Guess I’m in the runnin’ for somethin’,” he grinned sheepishly.

The Tale’s End

‘Twas a day of highs and lows, wild shots, and hearty laughter. The Putt Pirates faced the challenges of New Quarter Park with the spirit of true adventurers. As the sun set, we took stock of our exploits and looked forward to the next round. May our discs fly true and our spirits remain unbroken!

Fair winds and following seas, me hearties!

The Putt Pirates