| SHORTS | DOUBLES (BEST DISC) |
| BRO-MORE (-4) | ROD-RREZ 🏆(-5) | JACK-ZAR (+2) | MCCORMICK (-1) |
| Megan Gilmore | Luis Rodriguez | Shelly Jackson | Patrick McCormick |
| Tommy Brosam | Jasper Gutierrez | Ernest Huizar |
| Tommy Brosam | CTP on #4 |
| ROUND WINNERS | Team ROD-RREZ |
Our 2025 Maiden Voyage!
The first sanctioned voyage of the season kicked off under blue skies at Newport News Park, but the course was no paradise. Storm-toppled trees littered the land, leavin’ wide-open lines that gave discs a false sense of freedom. ‘Twas a course full of traps, temptations, and the occasional tree slap.
The crew divided into four fine ships: Captain Luis Rodriguez and Quartermaster Jasper Gutierrez manned the bow of Team ROD-RREZ, determined and full of confidence. Team BRO-MORE saw Barnacle Megan Gilmore and Seaman Tommy Brosam team up for the first time since the Great Gilmore Breakout. Over on the port side, Boatswain Shelly Jackson and Swabbie Ernest Huizar joined forces as Team JACK-ZAR. And then there was Gunner Patrick McCormick, sailin’ solo as Team MCCORMICK, armed with nothing but pride and a pocket full o’ plastic.
From the first tee, Jasper was already stirrin’ the waters, watchin’ McCormick line up his solo shot and mutterin’, “If I had two throws every hole like Pat, I’d be winnin’ this league without breakin’ a sweat.” It didn’t take long for the cannon fire to come right back. By hole three, Tommy turned to Jasper and fired off, “Even if ye win, it’s only ‘cause ye practiced like your rent depended on it. How’s it feel needin’ reps just to beat me fresh out the bunk?”
“Even if ye win, it’s only ‘cause ye practiced like your rent depended on it. How’s it feel needin’ reps just to beat me fresh out the bunk?”
Seaman Tommy Brosam
Tommy wasn’t just talk—on hole four, he smashed the CTP and claimed the booty with a grin. “Write that down,” he said, holdin’ his disc like a trophy. “Closest to the pin, closest to glory.” But glory was fleeting on this course. By hole five, the crew found themselves wrestlin’ the new layout. With the trees cleared by storms, gaps were bigger and temptations were deadly. “Too much room,” Tommy muttered. “The discs don’t know what to do with freedom.”
Things got mystical on hole seven. Swabbie Huizar, standin’ at the tee, pointed at a tree and declared, “I’m hittin’ that one right there.” One beat later—thwack!—he nailed it. “That’s talent,” he said, walkin’ on without shame, “just not the kind that wins.”
Meanwhile, the Gunner’s smooth sailin’ finally hit rough seas. A bogey crept onto his card, and Jasper lit up like a lantern. “Glad to see yer back to yer old self, Pat!” he cackled. But Pat wasn’t done. He answered on the very next hole with a crisp birdie, tossin’ a wink back toward the peanut gallery.
Elsewhere, Megan Gilmore was puttin’ with the precision of a sniper. By hole eleven, Tommy had officially given up on tryin’ to compete. “I ain’t even takin’ out me putter anymore,” he sighed. “She’s got this hole locked down tighter than Davy Jones’ locker.”
Then came the infamous hole thirteen, where McCormick, tryin’ to finesse a lay-up, sprayed it like a busted musket. “I try to get it close so I don’t have to putt,” he said, starin’ into the void. “Turns out I still have to putt.” Jasper, smellin’ blood in the water, took another jab on fourteen: “McCormick’s taken a dump on this round!” he howled. But fate, that fickle mistress, slapped him down quick—Jasper’s next shot veered so far right it crossed into another zip code. Even Luis had to pause and ask, “Wait… where’s the basket again?”
“McCormick’s taken a dump on this round!”
Quartermaster Jasper Gutierrez
By the time they hit fifteen, Tommy was sailin’ high and full of hot air. With a smug little shrug, he declared, “The only reason Jasper’s catchin’ up is ‘cause I gave him fifteen holes to do it.” Megan didn’t say a word—she just banged another putt to make sure it wasn’t true.
In the end, it was Team ROD-RREZ who emerged victorious with a score of -5, takin’ the top of the podium. Team BRO-MORE finished just behind at -4, while Gunner McCormick fought valiantly for -1, and Team JACK-ZAR came ashore battered at +2.
No tags were exchanged this round, as the loot be still brewin’ in McCormick’s 3D printer—but fear not! Swag and freshly forged tags should be ready by next round, ready to be fought over, bragged about, and probably lost in someone’s trunk.
Fair winds and plastic chains to ye all. This voyage be just the beginnin’. The sanctioned season has officially set sail, and the tales only get taller from here.
– Logged by Gunner McCormick (currently wounded, emotionally and numerically) 🏴☠️
Putt Pirates Disc Golf Club 
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