| SHORTS | SINGLES |
| Megan Gilmore (+11) | Jasper Gutierrez (-2) 🏆 | Shelly Jackson (+10) | Patrick McCormick (+7) |
| ROUND WINNER | Jasper Gutierrez |
| Patrick McCormick | Boatswain |
Aye aye, here be the updated log with the full glory o’ the Cap’n’s infamous quote:
Captain’s Log | June 3rd, 2025 | Newport News Park
Sanctioned Round #2
Arrr ye scallywags, gather ’round and lend yer ears to the tale of a round where the seas were rough, the throws were plenty, and the dignity… scarce.
⚔️ The Skirmish Unfolds…
The crew burst from the gates with all the fire of cannonballs—but instead o’ firin’ toward victory, ’twas like every pirate was competin’ for last place. As the Zen legend himself, Patrick McCormick, always says:
“Disc golf be all about throwin’. So the more throws, the more fun—and fun be winnin’!”
Patrick
…and blimey, did the crew take that to heart.
Patrick started strong, park’d his first shot like a pro—then three-putted it into the sea. From there, he committed full sail to “bogey golf,” claimin’ it be the will of the stars. The rest o’ the fleet followed suit, missin’ putts closer than a shark’s shadow.
But one pirate sailed true—Quartermaster Jasper Gutierrez. With deadly precision and a -2 finish, he left the rest of the crew buried in the sand. On hole 11, he fired a shot so fierce it yeeted a squirrel twenty feet into the sky. No injuries, but the squirrel may be reconsiderin’ its career as a course hazard.
🎯 Magic & Mayhem
Barnicle Megan Gilmore channeled Davy Jones himself, drainin’ long putts from 10 to 15 feet while her shipmates flailed at two-foot gimmes. Boatswain Shelly Jackson fought bravely with a +10, but the battle turned from chasin’ Jasper to avoidin’ the DFL (Dead Floggin’ Last).
🏴☠️ Final Ledger
- Quartermaster Jasper Gutierrez: -2 🏆
- Boatswain Patrick McCormick: +7
- Gunner Shelly Jackson: +10
- Barnacle Megan Gilmore: +11
🎖 Promotions & Pee-based Punishments
Amidst the chaos, Gunner Patrick McCormick earned a well-deserved promotion to Boatswain. But fate had one last trick: on leavin’ the park, the Cap’n rescued a mighty turtle—only to be drenched in turtle pee pee. He rode home soaked and saltier than the seven seas.
Yet through it all, spirits were high. The round may’ve been rough, but the laughs were louder. And remember, lads and lasses:
— PUTT PIRATES LOG
Putt Pirates Disc Golf Club 
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