Putt Pirates Disc Golf Club

MAY 14 – SCRIMMAGE ROUND #3 – NEWPORT NEWS

Ahoy ye salty sea dogs, the crew of the PUTT PIRATES gathered once again at Newport News Park fer another bruisin’ battle amongst the trees, briars, and bogeys. The weather be fair, but the crew? Half asleep and held together by caffeine and bad decisions.

Tommy Brosam be absent from the voyage, off attendin’ some fancy shipboard firefighter class. A noble cause indeed, though we suspect he simply didn’t wish to witness the carnage on Hole 18. Megan Gilmore also missed the raid, busy workin’ her second job to keep the rum reserves stocked.

Meanwhile, Jasper Gutierrez arrived bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and suspiciously cheerful. Turns out the scallywag no longer sails on our shift and had actually slept the night before. A dangerous advantage indeed. While the rest of the crew staggered around like zombies washed ashore, Jasper looked ready to conquer the seven seas… and conquer he did with a blisterin’ -2 round.

Stefanie Bonsky and Trevor Elam arrived late after dealin’ with a late medic call. Stef made a grand entrance on Hole 2 while the crew was busy throwin’ sticks into a tree tryin’ to rescue Shelly Jackson’s disc from the branches above. A true pirate recovery operation.

Then, as if summoned from the forest itself, Trevor emerged from the woods wearin’ camo Crocs and carryin’ absolutely no discs. None. Just vibes. To be fair, camo Crocs are technically woodland-approved pirate footwear.

The round itself turned into another fierce battle between Trevor Elam and Mike Mui, the two seadogs currently fightin’ tooth and nail to avoid the dreaded cellar position. Blow fer blow they traded terrible shots and miraculous recoveries all afternoon long.

In the end, Trevor barely escaped with the victory as Mike’s game completely mutinied on Hole 18. Rumors say several discs are still orbiting the basket to this very day.

Final Standings

• Jasper Gutierrez: -2 (58) 🏴‍☠️
• Lou: +5 (65)
• Stefanie Bonsky: +6 (66)
• Patrick McCormick: +10 (70)
• Shelly Jackson: +14 (74)
• Trevor Elam: +22 (82) ⚔️
• Mike Mui: +24 (84) 💀

Until next week, keep yer discs dry, yer Crocs camouflaged, and stay outta the trees, mateys.